That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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