ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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