She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so let's talk penis.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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