He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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