11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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