Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
