But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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