Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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