Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
