come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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