are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
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Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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