it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
