i just google imaged poop.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
