how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
