If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
