**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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