How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
