never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize