i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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