can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
