i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
