I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
