I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
