I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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