Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
