i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
