I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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