I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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