Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize