if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
