kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
