Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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