I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
