Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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