Welp...herpes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
