We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
