we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
