Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
