hotel room ftw
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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