guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
