WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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