im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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