Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
