I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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