I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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