Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize