Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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