I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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