I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
