Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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