I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
