I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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