I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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