I just cut my nipple shaving
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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