Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
