nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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