He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
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Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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