What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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