ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
