If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
