This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just googled if crying burns calories
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
