come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
