I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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