No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
