Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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