I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
