Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son