FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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