dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize