his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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